I hate making small talk.
If you’re reading this, maybe you can relate. Call me anti-social, if you’d like. I probably am. And I know I can’t avoid small talk. It’s gonna happen, especially at work. Whether I like it or not, I have to play the game.
If I’m being honest, it’s not just small talk. I was always bad at holding conversations in general. Being a sh*tty communicator made me an awkward magnet. Just thinking about the silences, one-word replies, and chatter with zero chemistry makes me cringe.
Eventually, I realized I had two choices: learn how to talk to people or keep being an awkward magnet for the rest of my life.
So, I Googled “Best books to become a better communicator.” One book caught my eye: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It’s an old book, written in 1936.
Disclosure: This is an affiliate link, which means I may earn a small commission if you buy, at no extra cost to you. I only recommend stuff I’ve used or can vouch for.
Honestly, I didn’t even read the summary. I fell instantly for its clickbait title and bought it. Unlike 99% of my impulse purchases, this one turned out to be the best $20 I’ve ever spent. It leveled up my communication skills from sh*t to pretty good. So much so that a past manager had me train someone else on how to make small talk.
TL;DR: The book teaches you how to listen, ask better questions, and make people feel seen.
My biggest takeaway from the book was: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
Before reading it, I thought being “interesting” meant talking about stuff I found interesting. No wonder I couldn’t hold a convo. Everything changed once I started being genuinely curious about other people.
And just like that, the awkwardness disappeared.
If you want to avoid a lifetime of awkwardness, How to Win Friends and Influence People might be the best $20 you ever spend.
