We’ve all been there—feeling like the world’s about to cave in from the sheer weight of our own stress. Deadlines, social obligations, the constant pressure to keep up with life… it’s a lot. But what if I told you there’s a way to reset your stress throughout the day, kind of like hitting the refresh button on your mind? Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, a Harvard stress expert, teaches a couple of simple yet powerful approaches to stress resilience that might just save your sanity.
Not only will I share her tricks to reset your stress, but I’m also going to break down why stress itself isn’t always a bad thing—there are actually two kinds of stress you need to know about: adaptive and maladaptive. One makes you stronger, and the other… well, let’s just say it’s time to stop it before it stops you.
Adaptive vs. Maladaptive Stress: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Before we dive into how to reset stress, let’s quickly unpack this whole adaptive and maladaptive stress situation. Not all stress is created equal, and understanding this can change how you react to it.
- Adaptive Stress: This is the kind of stress that helps you rise to the occasion. It’s short-term, comes in small doses, and motivates you to get things done. Imagine a deadline pushing you to finish that project—this type of stress boosts your focus and performance. It’s like a mental workout, training your brain to handle bigger challenges down the road. So yes, some stress can actually make you stronger. Kind of like how going to the gym stresses your muscles, but ultimately builds them up.
- Maladaptive Stress: Now, this is the one we need to watch out for. When stress sticks around too long (hello, chronic stress) or when it leads to negative coping mechanisms like avoidance, substance use, or self-sabotage, that’s maladaptive stress. It drains you, makes you feel helpless, and can even lead to serious mental and physical health problems like anxiety, depression, or heart disease. In short: not the kind of stress we want to keep hanging out with.
So, while stress itself isn’t the enemy, how you handle it can be. That’s where resetting your stress comes in handy—here are two powerful techniques that can stop maladaptive stress in its tracks.
1. Stop, Breathe, and Be
This is one of those things that sounds so simple, you almost question how effective it can be. But trust me, it works. Dr. Nerurkar suggests what she calls “Stop, Breathe, and Be.” It’s a mini-reset you can do whenever you feel that stress creeping in.
Here’s the breakdown:
- Stop what you’re doing. Take a second to just pause.
- Breathe deeply and slowly. Focus on your breath as it moves in and out. This taps into your body’s natural relaxation response.
- Be in the moment. No judgment. No worrying about what’s next. Just be.
Why does this work? It’s all about calming your nervous system. Stress puts us into “fight or flight” mode, but focusing on your breath activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is in charge of calming everything down. Essentially, it gives your brain and body permission to chill.
2. Gratitude: The Attitude Shift
The second way to reset stress? Gratitude. I know, it’s probably something you’ve heard a million times, but hear me out. According to Dr. Nerurkar, when we practice gratitude, even just for a minute, it shifts our focus away from what’s stressing us out and puts our brain in a positive space. You’re reminding yourself of the good things in your life, and that can lower stress hormones like cortisol.
The next time you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to think of three things you’re grateful for. They don’t have to be huge—maybe you’re grateful for that cup of coffee that got you through the morning, or for a text from a friend. The point is to train your brain to find the good, even in small moments.
Adaptive Stress vs. Burnout: Finding Balance
The goal isn’t to eliminate stress altogether—good luck with that!—but to turn maladaptive stress into adaptive stress. When you can reframe a stressful situation as a challenge rather than a threat, you turn it into something that can fuel your growth. For example, instead of letting a looming deadline paralyze you, try viewing it as a chance to sharpen your skills.
At the same time, recognize when stress is tipping into burnout territory. No amount of adaptive coping will fix chronic stress if you’re constantly overworking without breaks. That’s where these micro-resets (breathing and gratitude) become key.
So, How Do You Make This a Habit?
Start small. Next time you feel the pressure building up, take a minute to stop, breathe, and be. Then, follow it up with a quick moment of gratitude. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes—and before you know it, you’ll be resetting your stress like a pro.
By focusing on these two techniques, you’ll not only manage your stress better but also build resilience for the long term. Because, let’s face it—life isn’t going to get less stressful, but we can get better at handling it.
Try it out. Your future self will thank you.
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